When members of the “Baby Boom” generation were children in divorce, Fathers too often had no parental rights. All those rights were awarded to the Mothers under the mistaken notion of a “Tender Years” doctrine, with very few exceptions. Those same Baby Boomers grew up to be lawyers, judges, and State legislators and changed the laws in these matters. Discuss any of these details with your legal representative.
Here are three questions for Fathers to ask themselves:
1. Am I doing all I can to be actively engaged in the lives of my children? Don’t starve your children for your love and affection and wisdom and character only you can deliver as their Father.
2. When someday I and my children look back, what kind of role model was I during this time about how to go through a tough time in life? This will matter to your children as they mature into adulthood.
3. What am I doing to be my “Best Self” as a Father for my children in this process of divorce and after? This may include learning to communicate with their Mother as the other parent.
How to work with these questions:
Find some quieter and private time for you to consider these questions. Be patient with yourself. The answers may take time. The answers are yours for you and your children. There is no lecture intended from me here in this article.
Please don’t look back someday with regret. Don’t “throw-in-the-towel”, even in little ways. You know what I mean. Please don’t let it be that your children look back with regret that they did not get to enjoy the full measure of your personal love and affection and wisdom and character.
Facing tough circumstances?
Only you are Dad. No matter your circumstances, whether you live in a mansion or a cardboard box under a bridge, you are still Dad.
What are you willing to do?
Maybe it is always 4th down and goal-to-go. Will you kick the field goal or go for it? It’s your choice.
Good luck, Dad.
* Previously published at: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/3-questions-divorcing-fathers-can-ask-themselves-pegotty/
