“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”
– Jimmy Dean

Right now you may be feeling a little ragged – like your sails have all been slashed to shreds and your boat is looking for any safe harbor to limp into!  The winds of change, especially in divorce, can seem overwhelming – tearing at sails, breaking masts, tangling the ropes, throwing people overboard and leaving a path of destruction wherever they feel like going – and you have no control over them.

But you can also use the power of the wind to propel you towards your goals – your destination.


How are you going to use the wind to propel you towards your destination? 

1.  You have to learn to adjust your attitude, I mean your sails, to catch just the right amount of wind so that your sails don’t start luffing and flailing about like useless pieces of canvas attached to your unsteady boat!

2.  You don’t want to hold on too tight to the sail so that any sudden burst of extra resistance from the wind will capsize the boat and dump you into the water.  Know when to let go – let go of what you are hanging on tight to – whether it is the sail or your own point of view!

3.  Choose when to weigh anchor.  You have to know when the conditions will be right – you can’t sail if there is no wind! And you can’t sail when there is too much wind.  Getting some counsel from someone who can read the weather is a good strategy for making the best decision about when to go!

4.  Know when to draw the line – when the wind is too strong, you should seek safe harbor until the gale passes.  Knowing when to set boundaries and the willingness to do so has helped many a sailor avoid a perilous journey.

5.  Be aware of the environment – sometimes the terrain can create unpredictable winds.  If you don’t know the terrain, ask someone who has been there before!


Staying flexible and adjusting your sails to the wind and taking on some able crew members will help you to sail a smoother course towards your destination. And it will keep you and your relationships intact so that you will soon get new provisions and be off for your next destination!

Make sure that a CDC Certified Divorce Coach® is one of your crew members!


What advice do you have for your fellow sailors?

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