The timeframe to recover from Divorce is different for everyone but as a certified Divorce Coach I see the longest recovery times occur for those who have been cheated on!

Sometimes it can take years for them to realise they were good enough, to rebuild their self-worth, and be able to trust again.

The feelings of betrayal by the one you trusted with your life can be emotionally paralysing as you search for answers on what you could have done to have prevented it. You often look to yourself on what you may have done to push your partner away, what you could have done differently to have avoided it occurring, or feel guilt that you devoted yourself to your marriage but it still failed.

STOP thinking YOU were the reason they cheated! They left because of THEM! They left for someone else because they didn’t have the courage to leave and be on their own. Doesn’t matter who they were with, they would have cheated! They left because they were unhappy, life was passing them by, and they yearned for some excitement, adoration or intimacy. They sure weren’t going to take the risk of leaving until they had someone else to jump to for security. Of course, everyone should take responsibility for their part in the demise of a relationship but to feel it was your fault your partner cheated is so wrong on so many levels.

Let’s face it, if you are pining for your old life, reminiscing about the good times you had together then you really need to look at the signs and red flags that you subconsciously missed or chose to ignore. Do you really want to be with someone that doesn’t think you’re the best thing that has happened to them, who isn’t dependable being there for you through thick and thin, who doesn’t love you for who you are? You deserve better right?

Well the first step is to accept that your old life is gone and that you have suffered enough and that you aren’t going to let the cheater cheat you out of a happy future because they already cheated you out of your marriage.