Let’s start at the beginning. In my experience intimate relationships, marriages and business partnerships don’t suddenly end. According to Tony Robbins, they unravel over time and that there is a sequence to loss of attraction. My goal is to bring awareness to the sequence, the four signals that a relationship needs attention. First, resistance occurs where your partner says or does things that don’t sit well with you. Things that may trigger feelings of insecurity, inadequacy and/or scarcity within you. I’m not enough, I’m not safe or I’m about to lose something I value. Moments of resistance, if not dealt with, lead to moments of resentment. This is the point where a narrative in your brain starts to surface. It builds a story about what is happening, real or imagined, and how to protect yourself from pain and loss. Better known as the fight, flight, or freeze response. If resistance and resentment are not actively resolved through coaching, it can lead to either an eventual complete rejection of your partner or it can lead to repression. Within repressed relationships, there’s a lack of energy, passion, connection or intimacy that you once had. It slips into a state of numb. Once you learn these four stages, you know immediately the stage that you’re in.
When a client comes to me, they are often in or have cycled through the above stages. Most commonly, they describe one or more of the following drivers of resistance, resentment, rejection or repression:
- Infidelity
- Lack of physical and emotional intimacy
- Abandonment
- Absent partner, travels for work frequently
- Loss of self-identity
- Lack of compatibility, different values, no common interests
- Unproductive arguing, dishonesty, withdrawal, or stonewalling
- Constant conflict without resolution, often due to lack of equality, power struggles, lack of role clarity
- Married too young or for the wrong reasons
- Differing or conflicting attitudes toward money (earning, spending, saving, and sharing)
- Physical, verbal, emotional, or financial abuse
- Excessive stress due to caring for a special needs child or family member
- Conflict with or intrusion by in-laws
Whether your relationship is over or not yet done, what you want is relief from the discomfort that comes with challenges of redefining your life. Relief comes through awareness, understanding and a set of transition and recover tools that you can use now and for life. Tools that allow you to take control of your emotions and start taking the right actions to reclaim the energy, passion, connection or intimacy you once had and deserve. If you’re ready to become the best version of you, I’m here. Let’s get started.
As a CDC Certified Divorce Coach, I offer a range of services to help you navigate the emotional and practical challenges of addressing relationship concerns or divorce including:
- Dealing with difficult emotions such as anger, sadness and anxiety
- Managing the emotions of others impacted by divorce
- Maintaining peak performance at work during each stage of divorce
- Setting boundaries and communicating effectively with a former partner
- Establishing goals for working with lawyers and other divorce professionals
- Avoiding the six biggest mistakes during divorce
- Developing a parenting plan for co-parenting during and after divorce
- Income assessment, career planning, and budgeting for post-divorce life
- Developing a support network and seeking outside help when needed
- Adopting self-care practises to ensure good health habits
- Identifying goals and actions for building a new and rewarding life after divorce
Bachelor of Arts (Honours) in Psychology
Carleton University, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
1985
CDC Certified Divorce Coach®
CDC Divorce Transition and Recovery Coach®
Anne is a specialist in developing and executing corporate, brand, marketing, and sales strategies across a wide spectrum of industries including FMCG (consumables, household, personal care and pharmaceutical products); energy, industrial, transportation, financial, healthcare, senior living and recycling services domestically and internationally for over thirty years. She brings a broad portfolio of experience having worked in marketing, advertising, sales, and market research achieving senior management positions within several leading multi-nationals including BBDO Worldwide, Millward Brown Sydney, and Colmar Brunton Research Sydney. For the past seven years, she has owned and operated her own marketing and communications firm in Calgary. She brings passion and respect for optimizing the potential and performance of brands, personal integrity and proven ability to provide actionable and reliable strategic consulting to corporate executives, managers, and marketers of the world’s leading brands.
She decided it’s time to bring her experience to her divorce coaching practice. As your coach, she will guide you through life’s personal and professional challenges in an effective, compassionate and impartial manner.
More than twenty years ago, I was blessed to have Anne McKinnon walk into my life as a business associate, friend, confidant, and unofficial personal coach. When Anne told me that she would become a divorce coach, I knew that her life and many people’s lives would improve. I want to talk about the main qualities of many that make Anne a successful professional in everything she pursues. Anne is the ultimate professional in everything she does. She approaches everything with the highest integrity and ethics, understanding that her reputation is on the line. In Anne’s career, she has often walked away from clients when she felt she could not help them in the way they needed. Unlike many business professionals I know, Anne puts her clients first. Anne has an international reputation for being a top strategist and specialist in her field. Anne’s background in psychology has made her one of the top behavioural strategists in her field. Her research background and understanding of people’s behaviour and motivation give her an innate ability to thoughtfully inquire in every situation to understand the root issues so she can work with the client to address them. Anne has strong emotional intelligence, so people turn to her personally and professionally to ask her to help solve their problems. She makes people feel like she understands them and that they are not walking alone on this lonely path called life. She makes everyone she meets feel seen and heard; building trust, which is foundational to all professional or personal relationships. Anne is an avid lifelong learner who applies her knowledge to develop ways to support people in overcoming their challenges and barriers. To continue serving her clients, Anne understands that she must continue to learn and grow. Anne is self-aware and conscious of what she brings to the table. Anne has dedicated her life to continually evolving and growing. So often, when you go to a professional for help, they apply their hang-ups to the conversation, unable to look at the other person’s situation objectively to provide them with the best support and guidance they need. Anne’s approach is customized to the client or person to ensure she is providing the best support possible. Anne has a repertoire of personal and professional tools and experiences to refer to, including this divorce course. Many people have a very narrow knowledge base and experience to draw on but not Anne McKinnon. She is wise, learns from every experience and encounter, applies it to improve herself, and generously shares those learnings with others. Anne is a sage and has a passion for teaching. She is at the age where she can improve not only the lives of others but the world through sharing her knowledge and life lessons. I am excited about how many people will learn and grow from Anne, as I have over the last 20 years. Her focus, tenacity and sophistication will not only grow her own business; she will be fundamental to moving the profession of divorce coaching to the next level in its reputation and notoriety. – Jennifer Cummings, Calgary, AB
Anne McKinnon has been a very good friend of mine for over 10 years. From my personal experience, Anne is already an amazing life/divorce coach. Throughout our friendship, Anne has continually demonstrated her compassion and integrity as a confidant and mentor. Anne is very intelligent and curious and is always reading, researching, and sharing information and teachings from a variety of sources. She is a critical thinker and this in addition to her compassion means that she always brings a thoughtful, supportive, and considered perspective, while allowing space and appreciating other viewpoints. Anne also has excellent business acumen and owns and runs a successful brand and marketing strategic planning business. The same dedication, commitment, and passion she brings to her personal and business relationships and projects I have seen as she has worked through her coaching course. For these reasons, I know she will be very successful in her new venture as a divorce coach.- Laura Fenniak
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