“Nil carborundorum illegitimi” cod latin

don’t let the bastards get you down…

Let’s not color code it. Divorce is a rocking roller coaster of emotion with something new coming at you at every twist and turn. This, coupled with an already demanding schedule of work and managing a household on your own can leave the most calm and collected reeling. Are you a KUber (kids Uber) running late after work to get your kids to extra curricular activities?  Overwhelmed with the thought of how to fit in a healthy meal for everyone along with some ‘me’ time?  Has eating healthy and taking care of ‘you’ fallen to the wayside in an attempt to just stay upright?  How’s your fright, flight, fawn or freeze response these days? Are you present and proactive or, ‘stinky thinky’ thinking keeping you distracted and reactive?

Here’s the thing….anxiety, fear of the unknown coupled with constant change at every turn, can result in overwhelm impacting your important decision making abilities.  Many professionals that will be, or are,  a part of your divorce journey, will ask things of you that add more to your overflowing plate.  Your ex, family and work can add to this feeling of everyone wanting a piece of you and your precious time.  Somewhere in the middle maybe are the kids (if you have them) needing your support so you try your very best to fit it all in and keep it all together; burning All the candles at both ends. You literally feel like everyone is constantly trying to get you down. Any of this sound familiar? If so, know you’re not alone.  If you:

• experience exhaustion, sickness, confusion and avoidance working through the paperwork of divorce
• don’t feel seen, heard, understood or validated in the divorce process
• grapple with decision making and trusting yourself even when you are/were a BOSS in every other aspect of your life
• find the emotional impact of divorce bleeding into your work life impacting your performance
• sound like a broken record with family and friends and can’t or won’t change your tune
• feel alone or isolated, ostracized by family or friends, judged and judgemental, angry, upset, withdrawn, embarrassed, secretive and mistrusting, frustrated, guilty and entitled, lacking self worth, anxious, short tempered
• trying your best to be the anchor for your kids but get triggered and find yourself turning into that parent you never thought you would be
• have a hard time when the house is silent
• feel wronged, misunderstood
• spending more time thinking than acting and lacking the focus to act

If you relate to any or all of the above, hang in there.  You will get through this; you can thrive. A 2.0  or 3.0 version. The choice is yours and yours alone. You can let this time in your life Define you, Destroy you or make you the Best  f&%king version of yourself.  Is the latter easy?  You know the answer.  Nothing born out of pain ever is.  Anyone who ever found their strength within the depths of their despair knows this to be true.  You hurt enough and learn enough to want something different. You find the resilience to stop the bleed, trust yourself and create what you want in your life pre, during and post divorce.

What if you could shift this challenging time in your life into one lived with grace, dignity and empowerment?  As your coach, I champion you to see what I see-someone capable of creating and being the legacy they want for themselves and those around them.  What would  life look like if you were to change the tune in your head to serve your highest good?  How would you show up in your divorce if you had the tools to hone your discernment, astuteness, assertiveness (and the many other beautiful qualities you inherently possess) and communication?  What if you were to cultivate an objective vs an emotional lens to look through?  I will safely hold your feet to the flames when you need that gentle nudge to challenge your status quo to gain the clarity, courage and confidence to get you where you want to go.  Start to challenge your impossible and dare: I.M.Possible.