Video by: Laila Aitken Ali
Normally the last thing someone is thinking of when they’re faced with divorce or separation is a divorce coach. First thought is usually lawyer, therapist, mediator … which are all critical parts of your divorce team, of course, but as with most teams, a coach is also an integral part.
In this video interview between Scott Levin, Esq, San Diego Mediation and Laila Aitken Ali, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® they discuss what a divorce coach does and the benefits of hiring a divorce coach.
You can also find the full article with a transcript of the video here: https://sandiegofamilylawyer.
Divorce isn’t just emotionally overwhelming, there are also a lot of decisions that need to be made, paperwork to fill out, things that will likely impact the rest of your life. When you’re coming from a place of fear, anger, or frustration, you’re just not thinking clearly. Yet this is the time that you need to make the best decisions for yourself and your family, for your future.
With a sports coach you can see the results, they’re tangible – you’re scoring better, making better plays, whatever the case may be. With a divorce one of the top issues is communication, and the results, whether positive or negative, may not be easily noticed. It’s not just communicating with your ex, it’s communicating with your lawyer, your mediator, it’s communicating with the people around you. In the case of divorce, things like communication, conversations, messages, emails – all of the difficult conversations that can go so wrong, so quickly.
A divorce coach is there to help their client improve their skills, just like a sports or life coach. With a divorce coach it’s about letting the client know they’re not alone, they have a thinking partner; someone who can help cut through the fight or flight natural first instinct and help the client focus forward instead of going back to the past. And setting boundaries for yourself throughout the process to be sure you are focused on what you want to do and not on the other advice that everyone is giving you. Nobody knows what will work best for a person better than the person themselves. It’s about finding your own answers, the ones that fit you and your unique situation.