1. Give up your expectations.
“My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportion to my expectations.”
– Michael J. Fox
Funny how expectations set us up for resentment because our expectations are rarely met. Be present in the moment, see the good things that happen, accept what is, and be grateful for all the good in the moment. Expect nothing you will be amazed at how that one shift in attitude will bring you unexpected good fortune!
2. Let go of the way “IT SHOULD BE”.
“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.”
Deborah Reber, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul
When we stop resisting whatever “IT” is, we start getting clearer about who we are. We uncover the ability to hear things we haven’t heard before and to be able to respond in ways we haven’t been able to – and suddenly others begin to respond differently to us! And they didn’t change one bit!
“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”
When we think about letting go we fear that we will lose something so we sometimes hang on tighter trying to make something work – a job, a relationship, your point of view! But there are times when letting go allows something else to happen – and in this allowing we can discover new strength and resolve to become more of who we are.
3. Allow yourself to BECOME.
“Don’t go through life; grow through life.”
Allowing yourself to become who you really are is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Much of our lives we spend trying to become what others want us to be. Or we are trying to become what we think others want us to be!
Allowing yourself to become the best “YOU” you can may mean that you are no longer the “perfect” anything. You are just you with your wonderful qualities and quirkiness – imperfect and delighted with who you are becoming.
4. Allow others to be who they are.
“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”
Maybe you have your picture of how someone else should behave, should engage, should communicate, should run their household, should treat your children, should do their job and should make the holiday stuffing! The problem in that thinking is that it doesn’t give them any space to be who they are. All you are seeing is who they aren’t. And they are not you!
“We cannot teach people anything; we can only help them discover it within themselves.”
No doubt you have great wisdom and a lot to offer. And so do they if you allow them to be who they are. When you listen to others, when you acknowledge the positives, when you celebrate their successes, you will be amazed at the butterfly who will emerge from the cocoon!
5. Enjoy it!
“It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.”
Pegotty Cooper, CDC®
I am your thinking partner.
We walk down the path together to see how we can make it all happen in the way that best serves the needs of you and your family.
- Feeling alone and sometimes overwhelmed adds a lot of stress to an already stressful situation.
- I am here to help you find your strengths and be a sounding board for you as you grapple with some challenging decisions.
- I am in your corner and support you in showing up in the divorce process as a client with a clear vision of what you want and need to move forward to the next chapter; as someone who is heard and participates fully in the important decisions about your future.
Contact info: firstname.lastname@example.org
CDC Directory Link: https://divorcesupporthelp.com/find-a-divorce-coach/listing/3201/